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CrystalCracker
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Posted on 01-27-07 9:56
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I have seen a lot of Nepali guys married to divorced american women just for a Green Card. And recently, increasing number of Nepali student- girls are falling in love with American guys and marrying just for a Green Card. How can you marry someone just for a Green Card? Is it that much of worth? Where are our values? Isn't it like seling sex for a green card? Common guys, you are in USA means almsot all of you are well educated. Even if you can't stay in USA because of visa, you will be able to market yourself anywhere in the world. Why do you need to do so?
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The postings in this thread span 2 pages, go to PAGE 1.
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paRelA
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Posted on 01-28-07 10:28
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Don’t most people know how life as a student is going to be once you get here? I know people who came here knowing they would have to support themselves. They knew they couldn’t ask their parents for any financial help and they knew they would have to live up to their parent’s expectations. They study hard, maintain their gpa and because of that they get some help from the universities. They don’t waste one day’s hard earned money by “steaming it off†in one night with their friends. They don’t waste their money on unnecessary things, such as cigarettes and alcohol. Granted not everyone’s situation is the same. A person has to do what he as to do to make it work. If you want to marry a citizen to make your life a little better go ahead and marry him/her. But don’t sit there and lie to yourself by saying you had no choice; you had to marry him/her. There are always choices. Don’t do anything that will shame you in your own eyes in the future. You have to be able to live with your decisions and their consequences. Only you can understand your circumstances and you knew you had to do what you had to do. I apologize if this offends some, but I am just saying as I see it.
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Bob Marley
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Posted on 01-28-07 1:48
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It's s bit different story with me and many more friends that I've seen, who are happily married. This is a advise to the coming generation of Nepali students. If you fall in love with an American and want to marry her/him, please show her/him everything about your culture. Don't bother to show the good one, he/she will figure out eventually. Show only the bad ones like Corroption, selfishness,politics, history, religion (a must), culture, poverty and CASTE (a must) and all the bad things you know are bad in our country. If he/she doesn't get scared and don't mind with it, then you're pretty much set to go. If not, then leave right away.I've been married 5+ year and no problem at all. She respects and have learnt a lot about Nepal and Nepali, good ones and BAD ones too. She cooks Nepali food too incase you were curious. She converted to our religion without my pressure, her free will and I've never entered a church (in case you're scared like many other ignorants). An architect in US will not fall in love with a cave woman, just incompatible in every definations. In a free society, you get who you are. If you meet someone in the bar, then don't expect too much from here. You shouldn't be thinking about marrying her in the first place and should not be there in the bar at all to pick up chicks to marry. Love and using him/her is two different thing. Just beacause we're Nepali doesn't make us better than the rest of the world. If you're a crap, then your choices will be crap too. The're are many many open minded and good character American student in your college. The only thing is finding the right one at the right place, not in a bar or a stip club. Please don't expect her/him to cook for you everyday, stay home and rub your feet either. This is not Nepal.It also depends on how open you're to other people's culture and what are the practicality of your realtionship. If you're one of those stubborn bastard who thinks that we're better than the rest of the world, then conflict will arise no matter who you're with. My 2 cents advise.
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mikmar
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Posted on 01-28-07 9:27
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Bob Marley i hope you didn't smoke a pot before you wrote that piece above.i agree with what you said about showing our culture before marrrying a foreigner.but , while people are in love they think they can bear whatever comes in between the relation, including culture, for some people it turns out to be wrong. in Americca more than than 60% fo the people get divorce do you count all of them stupid. " to make error is human but to forgive is divine". the main thing is you have to learn from your mistakes. just because some of your friends and your relation worked doesn't mean everyone else relation will work. going to a bar doesn't make you a bad person. another thing in a bar you see people from the street, to doctors to engineers , everyone who goes to bar are not necessarly bad people. if you met someone in bar what's wrong with that, if you get hooked up with a bad one then that too bad. you seems to be one of those people who goes to mandir and church to look for honeys, assuming that everyone who comes in a mandir or church are good ladies. lots of nepalese marry us citizens thinking the relation would work for some it does work for some it don't. for some people circumstances pushes them to marry a us citizen even though that might have not been the right choice. you have to be in that person's shoes before you judge that person. not everyone can go through 10 yrs of school just hoping to get a H1b and if you are lucky enough gc.some people choose the easy way marry a citizen hoping the relation would work and they can get gc. it's human nature to find easy way for any problem. i bet, some where in the corner in your mind you were also thinking about gc before you married your wife. think twice before you call some one stubborn bastard . man i can go on and on .................... all night about this shit any way i am going to end now............... thanks everyone.
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Bob Marley
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Posted on 01-28-07 9:50
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Mikmar I didn't say that everybody who go to bar are bad people. When did I say that? You make up your own theory. You can say anything you want, but the fact doesn't change. My point was the chances of a healthy relationship by picking up a girl from a bar are slim. Do you agree with that? or NO?. Don't get me wrong when I say stubborn bastard. It means the other way too, Americans and also Nepali. And no I didn't picked my wife from Church or a mandir. I was only giving advise to the coming generation of students in case if they fall in love. If they're just for GC, then do it the right way. What's wrong with that. Have you got any? You cannot justify the relationship going sour if you didn't do the homework, do you?
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dyamn
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Posted on 01-28-07 10:02
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I agree with dilute and mikmar. Quit worshiping people just because they are not Nepali. We Nepali have respect for everyone, even Indians who look down at us for being Nepali get Royal treatment in Nepal. First of all we need to give up the slavery mentality. Green card is not everything, US education is not everything, money is not everything, power is not everything; we need to realize. What is the reason that Nepal being so small exports so many students to the USA. Do you think Nepal really can offord US education to its citizens when even America can not provide full financial aid at this point. This irrational culture of sending kids of USA and better schools in India is promoting corruptions in our society. We have become slaves of the corporate world like we never had in our history of existence. 28. 29 yrs old Nepalis just finishing undergrands in the USA. Can't work freely out there, work and get abused in Indian and Nepali businesses, pay tution by everything you make, hardly have enough money to pay your bills, most students even have their credit history screwed up lately. What is the point? Most of my friends who stayed in Nepal are so happy now that i honestly jelouse. what is the point of the struggle. what do you want , a house, a car, a dog? you can get those things back in Nepal if you work hard. Plus no one will come up to you and ask where you're from and when you're going back? no international student advisor will be rude to you, no one can abuse you.... think about it... you'll at least , have a personal life in Nepal.
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mikmar
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Posted on 01-28-07 10:41
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The bottom line is if you marry for gc hope for the wrost and things get better from there.. make your plan ahead. if you just marry for the gc read the ins laws it's all in their website and plan a exit stragety how long it takes to get a gc and what's the time frame. If you plan good everything should go smooth. education is powerful but don't just go to school and spend rest of your life hoping to get a gc. if you can convince someone to marry you for gc, go a head and do it. but MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A GOOD PLAN, before you start the game, and always hope for the worst. thanks.
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TringTring
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Posted on 01-29-07 6:10
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Mikmar can't disagree with u again.
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shrestha456
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Posted on 01-29-07 11:43
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well i read all the comments and i truely admire all of those. I have been in US for more than 2 yrs now and if i look back to what i have achieved and done i get nothing as an answer. All i did is go to school and work and hang around with friends. Just as most of the students do here. my visa will expire in few years and then the school will be done. being an F1 student is really tuff, you don't even get to work when you get a good offer from a company. you gotta wait for that f***ing work permit before you can work. and by the time you get it, the work doesn't wait for you. I am suffering from depression and i can feel that. can't help it, really want to get out of it but just can't come over it. talking about marrying a US citizen for GC, what's wrong with it? if u think u can deal with it go for it. don't care what others tell you , they are only jealous of you and are trying to be a smart ass when they talk about culture and all those stuff. i know somewhere deep down their f***ing head, they are thinking the same but they don't have the ability. the same people will come to you for help when you achieve what you got. why waste your life in F1 status when you know u can't really get what you want. The visa itself starts with "F" which is already F**ked UP.
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mikmar
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Posted on 01-29-07 12:12
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Ha Ha Ha Ha............................ shrestha456 man you got it, you a re funny F-1 does start with F. another thing the feds knows that people would wanna change their status to a gc that's why there are laws in place like marrying a us citizen will give you a gc. if that didn't work for you try H1b if that didn't work find a sponser in a restaurant.................... on and on . if one didn't work use another one will sure work . use the system you should know how to use the system people. thanks.
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nepsysinc
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Posted on 01-29-07 12:54
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Looks like a good topic and throw some of your own experience and attitude towards the social differences. I have been raised with a 'misconception' that americans do not have a close relations with their spouses and parents. My mom used to talk about the 'Church and the Christians' as if it is such a taboo that you never want to go near there. But after staying in this country for more than 10 years, I had realized and experienced that 'that is not true'. I found so many good americans that I want to learn from...so many of them who cherish the the time they spend with their children and parents more than my parents did for me or for my grandparents. Does that means everyone is good here and bad there...Hell no...and big no !! We all speak from our own experience but I sometime get angry just because my mom did not try to teach me the right lesson....Trust me...she is well educated and was educated in foreign country and is retired. All I can say about is that we have to be open minded about others and need to know more about them before making any 'harse comments'. Same goes with the guys and gals who are trying to survive in this country. SO many of us had 'rightfully' said..'it all depends on your situation and your conscience'. I do not believe that getting married with Nepali is any different than getting married with an american. You can either make the relationship work or you cannot. Lets not judge people by their culture or nationality. I am old enough to 'at least' undersatand this much.
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dilute
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Posted on 01-29-07 1:48
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VERY HIGH THUMBS UP TO ALL
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Khaobaadi
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Posted on 01-29-07 8:16
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You can buy a Green Card from a Mexican for 55 $ in a Chicago's north side neighborhood.
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Birbhadra
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Posted on 01-29-07 8:35
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remember if you make "serious stuff" in life a joke then it might make your life itself a joke "seriously" if it is the ONLY alternative for survival then do it otherwise don't,
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mikmar
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Posted on 01-30-07 12:02
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Khaobaadi ji , that's just a quick fix for a problem, if you get arrested with that fake green you are going to get a one way ticket to nepal.if you are willing to take that risk then go a head.onother thing if you legally want to work in us now a days they check your ssn and green card if it is valid, so that isn't a good idea. if you wanna work ilegally , which most of nepalese are forced to do , then it is just waste of $55 to buy that fake green card. And Birbhadra ji, i can gurantee that deep inside more than 60% of the nepalese in us are suffering form depression and anxiety due to their status, how to make money so that they can put food on their table and at the same time fricking tuation fee for the next semester so that they don't get kicked out of the school and become out of status. we are forced to work ilegally as in F-1 status you are not allowed to work more than 20 hrs if you are lucky enough get the work permit. unless you wanna die of depression and anxiety only one way to survive is to atleast make fun abou the situation, so that you can vope with that situation.thanks
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mikmar
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Posted on 01-30-07 12:04
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correction: ( about the situation and cope.) thanks
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Antim Grahan
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Posted on 02-01-07 6:35
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I appreciate all the comments... I really had a gr8 time reading it.
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esctasy
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Posted on 02-01-07 9:54
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Thats why I suggest everyone to go to AUS instead of US these days. At least after 2 years you get PR and things start rolling in.Two years of debt can be easily paid in 6 months after PR. Coming to the question marrying for gc is bad if the girl doesnot know your intenson.I know a nepali guy who married a Aussie girl one day vanished when she woke up.She went to police, friends and was in tears when she finally learned that he packed his bags while she was sleeping.Thats bad man, White girls also have hearts. But if you are paying for GC and then its ok, Girl gets money you get GC whats wrong with it?Why shoud you waste 10 years for GC then you get old and your honey back home is already married and when you finally go back to nepal with GC to get married all you get is ----------------------. Life really sucks for most nepalese but then again what are you going to do in Nepal. Seriously guys I studied in Australia and went back to Nepal , I made really good money also but then there is no electricity, no water, daily aandolan etc, One day I was going to office and near shankerdev there was chaaka jam, I didnot know there was chaaka jam. They(About 100) came to me and took the keys , they grabbed my laptop from my brother who was at the back seat.Then about 13 old basterd came and started to pouring petrol all over my bike.He then lighted the match and asked me to leave. I denied and stayed on.There were police too standing and watching , I stayed , this fuk,ckking kid really wanted to light my bike.Then one guy (college ko neta I guess) asked me whay did I ride the bike in chaak jam.I said I didnot know there was chakka jam , he said they just decided 5 mins ago.How the hell I was supposed to know the andolan they just decided 5 mins ago. AFter that incident My brother left Nepal and so did I. I will never go back again.I do have h1 but I do not get GC i will marry fat assssss ugly sh,it but dont go to nepal. You may wonder what happend to that incident,after few mins I got out of the bike and screamed on the road whoever light my bike first I wll kill him/her no matter what.I sceremed for about 5 mins.This incident happend on the main road of putalisadak near shankerdev campus and was witnessed by more than 2-3 hundred people. Wht was my mistake? NOT KNOWING CHAKKA JAM THEY DECIDED 5 MINS AGAO?WHAT was police doing BESIDE WATCHING. Life is tough but here people dont come to kill you because you dont know there is chakka jam.
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Ram Prasad
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Posted on 02-01-07 3:52
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Wow......haven't seen anybody married for just GC. I have seen some people married to American and living very happily. Speaking of that, I received a call while back from Oklahoma in my cell and there was a American girl on the other end. She started asking questions here and there about how do I know this guy...that guy....I was confused....I asked why are you asking all these questions and she replied that her husband's cell phone had a unlisted number and that was mine.....I said one of my friend might have called me from your husband's cell phone and I could hear relief of "sigh" in her voice. Later I came to know that this Nepali Fellow married for GC and somehow the girl came to know about it. So she was checking everything about him....I felt bad for that girl.... I don't know the story after. I never wanted to know any way.... Like Ecstasy said about the situation in Nepal.....those are the reason I don't want to go back. I went back in 2001 and I am not interested in going back soon. My wife wants to go back and I told her that she can go and come back but my company won't be there....it doesn't mean that I hate Nepal....it's the situation that are there that makes me hate....If it was better, I would disregard my citizenship here and go there in a heart beat.....but what's there to do....if you do business...you have to give all these "CHANDAS" and what not and your profit margin is bottomed out......out of 365 days probably there are 180 days that the business will be closed due to strike here and strike there.... Ahhhhhhh....I wish my Nepal would be place like before where there was on tension of living in fear....
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kat_nepal
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Posted on 02-01-07 3:58
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Ke garney ho yes duniya ma US bhane pachi Mahadev ko ni Tin Netra hudo rahechha. Aba ke garney ta Des ma kaile ni sudhar ra pragati huna didainan Ye Badmas neta bhanauda haru le. Desk ma sudhar bhayedeye, development bhaye, oppourtunity bhaye tyo parai ko, birano des ma kaslai po janu maan lagchha ra. Yestai ho nepal ra nepali ko halat, euta le garna khojyo arko le bigarchha, euta problem solve bhaye arko le utpatayang utpatayang kaam garchha. Khoi aba yo desh kaile samma chalne ho??????????????????????????????????????????????
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lovehater
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Posted on 05-22-07 2:19
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if young generation doesn't try to improve the situation of Nepal, who will?People say Nepal is bad in this way and that way....but have you ever thought why is the situation bad? and what can you do to improve the situation? If not for you, then atleast for your future generations. Staying in USA and blaming that nepal is bad doesn't improve the situation and mere wishing that my "DEAR MOTHERLAND" would be a better place doesn't help at all. Seriously, if we work in Nepal as hard as in USA, we can change the face of our country. Getting education in USA is a good thing but we can do a lot to improve the situation of our country if we can use the knowledge we gain in USA for the betterment of Nepal. Atleast, in Nepal, you won't be exploited at work or at college like many F1 students.
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