A Gas Station Boy

My days start with a burning flame of Marlboro light in the morning. Hell yeah!! Who gives a dam to whom? I had never imagined that a person can get changed in life so frequently and you know what the main reason of getting change in life? That’s the f**king surrounding that is around you. A child is born he cries at that moment but f**king everybody around him laughs saying so sweet.  F**k man if somebody cries then everybody around them laughs isn’t it? It happens since everyone is born. That’s the f**king lesson everybody learn. The most worst part of life everybody feel is his work. That’s what I feel? Crunk the car and going to work, putting a loud hard rock song by flipping my window to half and lighting a cigarette. I love to do that. There starts another day in hell. Sometime I feel like to put a gun and shot those entire mother f**kers who comes to store and buys stuffs. Oh yeah and listening to them saying I’m tried I just wake up I feel like to kill myself. And you know another word what’ up homie? Are they really a human being? Don’t they have a brain in their head? Or they put their brain on ass shit man! How much of weed they smoke in a days? Give me a rello… then I feel like to say oh f**k you mother f**ker if u got your attitude then I also got mine why the  f**k you don’t understand this in not the real world you are in f**king United States which is the dream country of every student who gets a high school degree. Why the hell you are like this? But if I say this to them then it’s going to be like a barking dog. And another thing may be we the f**king gas station boy oh yeah gas station clerk are the one who hears the word thank you so many time that I feel who made this f**king word? Basically, we have pronounce the word how you doing?, thank you, debit or credit, and what’s going on so many times that even I haven’t call the word mother in my life. Man! This world s**ks; we are the one who face 1000 of people in a day with different race and different language. Can you imagine even I know what they smoke what they are going to take and even the most f**king thing is even the time that they goanna come to my store. Even I became late to go to store to work but to buy the stuffs my customer are never late. And another thing I have to hear this f**king god dam story about their family. Common dude f**k you I don’t want to hear about your family aunt, dad, mom I don’t even give a  f**k to them if they died. They are always ready to tell you everything but they are never ready to listen.

                More over, I’m not that f**ker who ran in the boarder to pick up that trash and fill they f**king cold cooler staying inside for an hour. I didn’t come to United States for this man. Did you hear me? F**king, give me a break I had thought that America was full of good people and it’s the land of opportunity but now I feel like I was analyzing the history of America. Opportunity this word f**k I put this word in my ass right now. Cause I’m not the f**king dumb ass white guy. I don’t have f**king white skin. I was born with brown skin. Hell yeah! Never think I’m bad though I got f**king awesome mind in me. I never put my brain in ass I got it in my head since I was born. I challenge every f**king Americans to compete with me. And I’m dam confident that I’ll bit the ass of everyone in every field. You know why? Cause I’m brown, and I love to be. That’s how I feel about this f**king land and f**king ass-whole people who judge people by their skin not there brain and emotion.

Bishnu

whats ur f***ing point dude??

महोदया, सबै कुरा फकिङ नै रहेछ महोदया ! गाह्रो नमनाउ महोदया..everything gonna get worse before they really get better..just hold on & think how much better you are to those people who ain't even try  ! दु:ख पाए पनि गर्छु नै भनेर आको त हो नि हैन त ठिकै छ कर्म कहिले खेरा जादैन महोदया, ..and you know the greatest part is ..just make bucks, you'll gonna enjoy someday out of it,make your dreams colored .. गाफै हाने पनि महोदया नेपाली ले नेपालीको मन त बुझ्न सक्छ नि  ..appreciated dude !..cigarettes are just time pass..smoke as much as you can...just dont let yourself carried away..someday you will end up with great victory...you will miss et all....

elusive cat, the boy is burned out with his work at a gastation. I can feel his pain.he must be earning and spending everything for school. the point here is frustration of a kid who falls victim of the crime and bribery he did not participate in. he is suffering because he had to leave his country due to of the greedy politicians who ruined the country so bad that he can not see a promising future back home. He comes to find a better life in America thinking America is the land of opportunity everyone keeps talking about. However,  in the reality he just gets fked more cuz America doesn't want students here to have better life. they want money from students and wanna kick them out as soon as they're done. And of course, what do you expect from the most moneysucking instutions in this most capitalistic country; universities are businesses and by the out of state tution which they keep raising everysemester, it's nothing more than an attempt to squeeze the blood out of a trunip.
So the poor kid doesn't understand where his life is going. he thouht, he could start out in America to have a successful life. but he finds out he has to work with rednecks and dumb public who can't by pass the fact that there is more than the color of skin. He probably gets underestimated for being a foreigner. They must think that he is stupid and not as bright as them cuz he can't speak good english, or say he has an accent. He is frustrated that they can't understand that people with accent can be smarter than them. He's probably mad at the lazy white boys who come and buy rolling papers and cigars 10 times a day to smoke pot. He is frustrated and mad at them cuz although they have better choices and opportunities they are not using them and yet complaining about their life to this poor fellow who has no option than to work as a slave to pay his tution. He is probably also frustrated that although he is working and using the money wisely to feed back the greedy instutions he has to do it as if he is stealing money. cuz working for foreign student in this great country where millions come illegally and become legal is illegal. He is probably, even frustrated that some Nepalis who have green cards on dv can be so ignorant to blame their fate for winning the DV. He probably meet one or 2 Nepali every week coming to his gastation to look for a job making his insecure about his job. He probably is frustrated and confused how long he's going to work like this and pay for school. And what is there after teh school . H1 in lottery? leave the country and go to Nepal, and work where? will Nepal be there? is there gonna be electricity if he go back? can he survive in Nepal with no electricity or smarter people than these dumb rednecks and wanna be gastastas? but what if those smart people out smart him back there unfairly? is that the reason and many more what made him pick this bold and big decision to come over to usa few years ago? This poor kid must be confused, frustrated, tired, and bored with life. He wants to talk to some. He wants to tell them, hey! don't smoke pot man and go to school apply for financial aid which i can't and make more money. lol!...i think his story makes a lot of point..

 

Prasadta:

Your days will come soon. I worked as a server for 5 yrs in a restaurant and i know that feeling you are talking about, same monotonous day again and again right ?? My suggestion, make some time for workouts. Go jogging or gym that will help a lot. My experience. Good Luck into the future

Well i feel sorry for u prasadta, but all of us are hung up on a tiny thread of hope ..
Kalopani ji, 
 I dont agree with what u said, ya definitely he is frustrated but thats the life he chose to live, he was not forced to. Did US invite him to be here at first place? I dont think so. He might have been approved for the visa coz he may have showed millions worth of property in nepal which convinced the counsellor that this guy is gonna end up in a university class rather than a gas station or food court. Even a lot of americans cant afford a four years college, but i dont know why most nepalese dont consider it while they appply for a US visa.Definitely this country is a land of opportunity, for those who work hard, but not for whiners. I dont need to go far, even i felt bad coz even as a graduate student i was working as a housekeeper and when i complained aobut that to my graduate coordinator, I was surprised that he also used to work as a janitor in the college he attended, and now he is a distinguished professor. Would he have been there if he had just kept whining about being a US citizen and still working as a janitor? So its great that u r making your own money, you are supporting your family no mattter where u work, unless u veer off from your goal.and i m sure that a lot other nepalese here in sajha might have been thro that. This is the land of "Obama" dude, i dont expect such miracle to happen elsewhere. So keep focussed, and this place will be certainly a land of opportunity. Can u feel for those nepalis who work in Arabic countries? At least u get to work in an air conditioned place, u can afford to drive a car to your place with the puff of "Marlboro" ( do u know what percentage of neaplis can afford Marlboro?) and at least u r greeted nice by almost every person that comes to your store. U might be making at least $7 per hour, back home, u will get rs 100-120 for carrying load of bricks all day. Why do u complain about paying for your education, thats gonna pay u sooner or later. Before u r parents used to pay for it, now u r paying for it, u should rather feel good about that. In return u will get a world class education that counts everywhere, so far. I dont think its a bad investment.
 I will like to remind u the impact the late Ashok Bhattari left to the community in Texas, even though he was just a clerk at a local store. Opportunity comes to u in every form, all u need to do is recognize it and live up with it. Dont get lost in the darkness of frustration, think about the sunshine that will follow. No country was made by bums, no matter wherever u go. To reap a good harvest, u need to work accordingly. There are lot of people who have followed that route and have reached the peak of success, and now they enjoy the fruit of thier hard work.Everybody wants short cut, esp the new generation, that wants everything at their disposal at the blink of thier eye. All i would suggest them is to keep patience, grow up , u r no more living a life of a kid who sends his wishes to a fairy. the first step towards being a man is to learn to tackle with the real life problems, not to be a cry baby and seek comfort under somebody's arm. and remember happiness is something subjective, and so far "unsatisfaction" is the key to the progress human being has achieved. So , with this dilemma of unlimited wants and limited resources to satisfy your wants, all u need to do is prioritize your needs. Learn to make compromises in life, everybody has to , so the earlier u learn, the better for u. One will hit the ground harder, the higher he wants to fly in dreams.
 So lets hope for the best. One day u will reach that peak and will be able to tell others, i have been through that arduous path, i have gone thro that drudgery and i managed to reach here. U can be a real life inspiration to others who come after u.
 No matter what, its a wonderful life dude, learn to live with it. Good Luck !!!!!!!!

 

Chyantu,
Agreed 100%.
Sounds like someone is lifting his arm for the first time in his life, used to living a luxurious life back in Nepal fed with a golden spoon by his mom everyday. Babuuuu, la khau.....just open your mouth, Aaaaahhh, and that's all you have to do. Who does he blame......the "white guy".....for his misery.

Seriously, if you think "work" is not for you, u should start looking somewhere else. And if you think the "white" guy is making your life miserable, you should consider going back to Nepal.
No offence.

You are still better off in the Gas Station, my man! I worked as a dish washer for a year in an American restaurant; felt like a trash throughout. Chilax!