the volcanic lava erupted from the veins of my neck as the wheels of the train slahes through them ...chunks of my pink skirt wrapped like a tortilla around the vile railtracks ...blood gudhed out from my eyeballs, the brains scattered mushily with the dark and dusty soil of the ground my pretty limbs chopped off in pieces and scattered all about the the railway...the ironrod attaching the wheels together took the finngers of my left hand and along with that the only jewel that i had ever adornedmy granny's love a 2 carat diamond ring casted in a beautifel serpant emeralds..

those feet that had never touched the grounds and comforted in the 120 pairs of my shoes collection now scattered for the vultures to dig on..my eyes whose stories were written from rolpa to russia now lay as a poached egg under the sun, the preety lips vapurized in the dust the breasts.full rounded and supple chhuuged away along the train tracks and with them my ribs that crushed through the lungs..

dead i was in 3 seconds but then the anguish of my lost heart remained..remains...where did my heart go???

its ironic being fearful and fearless at the same moment...the nigerian was the greatest politician of all times and my buddy now..i had enslaved myself to serving the dying aids destitutes of Africa...each day i counted heads to find out who survived the previous night..

then i gone down to brazil to count the heads of cocaine users and in india to count the heads of nepalese prostitutes..i had become quite a counter by now..was i working for yamaraj as a part time death counter? funny but it seemed as such...

you are so good at counting why don't you help count the grey langoors in himalayas..one pointed..the postion of counting haunted me by now...i wanted the figures to be analyaed, changed , and erased from the database..IT specialist, mba , doctorial did not make me any better than what i was in LKG..1+1+1+1..

shyiath and i enacted all pages of kamsutra that night...if counting wasn't enuf.i had started dividing my sexlife by my non-sexlife..the number of times ron called * the number of times i regretted not marrying him..the number of times i was to be home in nepal - the carribean cruises that i landed....if anything after going to the temple i wud dip myself in a tumbler of strawberry margarita...the fine line between the sinner and the angel grew thinner as i aged...

the way of living instead growing sturdy womanish marks onmy face presented a glow of a 12 yr old baby..which i resented by now..if anything i wud walk up the himalayas for fresh air..i was the underdog of all the underdogs..the editor of a short story..the puppet in a theatre, the muse for a change in life...and my once vanished stardom started to rock me hard...i was being benign to the point of no return....

more....later

friday nite.....four inches high heels..to top of that bouncy figure....roshani wore a short halter kurti on top a pair of hotpants...roshu..tied her hair in ooodles of noodle like spring..meg, suzan and i hush switched at least 6 tee tops and finally agreed up flaunlty black less dress..

ron..rob..bhas..sunny and roxy knockedthe door at the same ...hellloow misus...ron was genteel as ever...each brought a wine flowers..and great smile adorned on top of that funky outfits..godh all the girls will be jealous..

three more dab of powder and we fantasied away in a world of ecstasy..tch tch pure love...say that you want me yeah..say that you need me yeah..ashanti rolled out her verves slowly...then more precise trance..the only beat i could hear was the beat of my heart..the only light i cud see was glittter in his eyes..damn why was i such a romantic,..

3.45 pm were back..arguing on so much stuff..pulling our legs..grabbing stuff from the refrigerator..and us girls still swaying in the music..awesome..awesome.....

6.45 am still we were talking...nepal..this that work ..shit..girls vs..boys..blah blah...8.30 nap time...12.00 am back to work..back to life..
.........are you gelling well with life?????????????????

now let me go...just can't look.taking control..jealosy..price i pay ...open up your ears and eyes..i'm mr brightside.......i never------------------the killers..dam i hat the song

Had to read thrice but still some parts remain mystery for me...I will read again and comment...Nice going Hush... I M LOVING IT...post the rest soon,
Nirman

Hush
((((((((((((((((Add more more more)))))))))))))))))))) I am waiting waiting waiting....:o(
Nirman

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My eyes were so baggy with tears that for a second i thought i could quench the thirst of the dry earth beneath the clear blue sky as i was flying from ktm to delhil...

those wild wild nights wud be a thing of past...life after 10th grade ..had come to a complete halt..no summer coolatas..nor the music and nor the boys to swing along with the music..

Rest of my classmates had been lost my now..i had actually attended two of my gf's wedding ( jesus sweet 16s)..i partied day in and day out..the parties started at 12 noon to midnight then dragged along till 2, 3, 4, 5,...most of the time i bribed my servants to leave the gate open or i wud jump off the wall..my own dog Tony bit me several times not recognizing me at night and i was so wasted that it wud a shock to find his bites in the shower next morn..

mom and my sis wud talk about a certain group of youngsters crossing their limits every time in the dining table..i shuddered whether they knew i was part of all the hullabongs..
Most people hate Nicole Richie and Paris for no reason..basically when you're 17..all you wanna be is happy whetner its parties, drives, clothes and all the things you'd do when you don't have to go to school..well some people take karate classes to0 well i defintely wasn't one of them...

slowly you get addicted to parties so much that it wud be a shock to realize to see yourself in the mirror..the day i lied to dad saying i had just finished m tuitions..when asked why was i late for my own birthday puja..i regretted soo much...i had infact been away to GOA for the weekend and nobody at home realized when i had flown out or in(thanks to the servantstelling them i wud not wan to be distrubed in my study)..dammit they trusted so much and there wasn't a thread of trust that i maintained..and one fine day the my uncle the then DSP in nepali police caught me with bunch of other guys and dolls partying during curfew hours..that was the last straw....i gave in myself to go to the central jail..or the highschool in nainital to punish myself straight...

end of my teenage life....i began to think my life is ending then..

off the plane and onto the train ..god by now i was so good at travellling on my own...was just trying to imagine how wierd the indians must be in my class..who wud be my dormmate..how to get my head back to books and how to break rules if any..no wait i'm going back to my pre 10th grade years from now...

The lush sugarcane greens grew side by side the train windows..that woman across me was smirking that i wore a tight jeans..and a p-cap..a la POOJA BHATT..i stared back at her..she started asking toomany ques kuddi kidhar ja raheho??and all that i'm like "mind your own business""...in my mind though..the conductor checked my bag thrice ....i didn't carry much not even clothes..i'd buy everything out there in school...my mom was too smart that she had already opened an acoount for me in the State BAnk of India in Nainital when she came there for admissions...so rest of the stuff i carried ...including the dough was inside the zipper of my leather belt..nobody would figure out anyways and it was one of the wierd stuff that i had bought in Palaki bazaar in dehli.....so i flet safe..but not hat safe inmy tight jeans...and white skin..so i was hiding myslef behind the stupid hat and miami vice type sunlasses..ewwwwwwwwww..what was i thinking..

the conducter came in the fourth time i was thinking how to jump off the train if anything weird happens..he showed me his "pan" rusted smile and asked me "memsaab" aap chaye logi? i said "ji, shukriya"..oh what a relief ..for both the conducster and me..he thought i was the mim and i thought he was a rail ko chorr..i was so desperate for a cigarrete by now..he sold me a box of Goldflakes for rs.20..bloody thief..the train chugged on..the women kept staring at me and i was annoyed with the sugarcane smell...giindhi ka smell..its like shit..

i wasn't about to close my eyes for a second.. ilooked out the window..the brown dusty wind..swallowed most villages...india had so much free land..how come there is so much poverty..i passed through modhi village..the modhhi thread factories, the modhie...whatver..there were old muslim houses in between their designs were so intricate that ven those of Taj Mahal cud be put to shame..the trains chugged along..
passed amny truckers, wells, hardorking women, the tractors...then there were walls painted HIV..docs avaible...shit..why are there so much problems in these countries..??.

then i started romancing the green hills up the mountains...the chilly wind..the luscious trees so similar to nepali jungle..i felt at home getting closer to nainital..my crazy journey ended as i saw the sign of my central jail on the blue gates of nainital..MRS Gothales..held my hand tight..YOung Lady we expected you to have an escort while travelling...the FINISHING school started pointing out my defects..i succumbed myself for the two years of torture in the finishing school......

Hushpuppy

I hope your sis, bros and his gfs dont get ambushed by the Maoist on the highways of Nepal with some of the funniest bombs which no other rebel groups in this world had ever managed to invent like "Pressure cooker bomb", "pipe bomb" or "baltin bomb" .......god how on earth do the Maoists come up with such funny sounding bombs....??%$#

Probably the Maoist will come up next with "non-stick frying pan bomb" or "kettle bomb" or may be "Ghyampoo bomb"..he jheehehhe he

chao

where from the maoists come into the picture????

Following things revealed from huspuppy's new episode ...he he he

> High school from Naini taal , India
>Feels happy to swing along with the music with boys
> Loves partying...especially those wedding parties
> once fooled the family member..but did regret later
>Was once caught by DSP of nepali police
>Loves tight jeans
>Got white skin...whitish...
>Smokes....
> allergy with sugarcane smell
>a good observer while travelling
>Loves natural beauty...green hills up the mountains, chilly wind, luscious trees ........

he he ..anyway that episode was nice to read...now next episode should be about that torture for 2 years there in naini taal !!!

Finally...Ah!!! Finally... my patience paid and I got the sweet fruit...:o)....Post more soon....
Fan,
Nirman

Stars floated under her feet.....roses blossomed...iin her breath...the snowlapped hills reflected in her eyes..the depth of oceans twinkled from her pupils...and she was anware that the sun rose as she opened her eyes and never set in the summr of '96.....

the laughter, the jokes and giggles all but sublimed into her astute aloofness..best friends flockered tattoed for love and forgiveness al through life and beaus and belles..she disovered a fountain of youth under the torrid currents of sweet seventeen.....

one wink of the hazen blue eyes, the storm blew in, lightening struck..and the world turned upside down..like the maze in pashupati..you see exaclty where to land but you love the twists and turns enorder to reach..what if i get lost..what if i can an alternate gate...what would be beyond those visibly lost iron rods????????

I was holding onto my physics text inorder to understand the dynamics of nature..the dotted words from Profewwer willie willowed ..my thirst for knowedle mocked to rereads books of mortal life...then again we all belong to the same mortal congloromate...if it partains to you and does not it pertain to you???????????????

So far I have read and known these are few:
--Heart lost in between the despairs and scrutinies of the hasty and selfish world...(;and That heart is being pumped with O-ve blood...;)
--in search of someone who can find her beyond her outer looks and fake smiles( illusioned if she had lost HIM in between the search!!!)
--Kinda Rebellious...She just walks out whenever she feels like something is knotting down her neck and suffocating her with venomenous emotional relationships..
--Is in search of the life beyond mortal life...Maybe there lies the soul she searches for!!!! But still She is living this mortal life...AND IN HER OWN WORDS>>>your punsihment in life is to live...so live the heavens growled..

Just some timid observations...
In jest(:Copyright:Indisguise:)
Nirman
P.S.-Hope I would get to read some more soon,Sincere apologies if I m wrong in posting some juvenile comments..

:) Silent reader

nirman seems like an ardent reader....

Am fan of Hush's epilogues....;)
Nirman

Where is new one???
Or is this thread forgotten...:(
Nirman

Life is so silly...sometimes and most of the times...In the quest of finding the right guy...there have always been three people each time. adding much to my confusion...I?m madly infatuated with the wrong dude...another guy totally believes that he's my guy for I usually spend 24/7 discussing about the first guy to him. The pros and cons...And a third squeezes in the empty corner of my heart...is it me or do people actually trigamy like I do...

My sis is very orthodox?she believes that i am laying myself out as a game bird...but then the number of people I?ve hunted down so far must be more than the casualties of maobadi crisis in Nepal...

Isn't love strange..?? I wish I cud figure out when I started weaving the webs. Some guys from my nursery still bother to call me and ask me out...justt cuz they need to get back to finish playing 'sureli' that i bounced off...and love is strange that more than guys, it is my girlfriends who love me mad...kalpy spent over $3000. just to visit me for a weekend from Hongkong..a hug there and kiss here..its amazing this thing called companionship..

Against all the social rites my mom ingrained and all for the communism teachings of my dad..guys at work assume that i'm quite a comrade..they say they would rather hang themeselves or carry a backpack full of rocks and jump into the river than date a comrade in me..but then story bout guys and dolls are never ending...the day i dumped my last boyfriend, his best friend fought with him so he may take his place?.which was totally uncalled for?

sometimes if i'd only start up a kissing booth like nicole rishie i think I'd be like Bill Gates right now...just to get away from so much attention / hatrid..beleive me they ride simultaneously...it shocks me to death the things that i do..the other day a silly date knelt down in infront a roomful of people to propose..no it wasn't the first time that anybody did. the first time. New year's eve at Katmandu Hotel when i was in 7th grade....I sure don't think the world is round. it is so octagonal ...added with crazy men out there it sure is like an octopus...

Sure I have had my share of awkward tragedies: all pertaining to failure to discard men the right way. is there any right way though?. it?s so much easier falling in love than falling out of love..and then one spring in 2002 i was so miserable..that i jotted down every misery that i had created in this lovelorn world...and then when i posted my Art to so called frens..instead of making me suicidal with utmost shame...i was beleaguered to find myself reaching out to more people: more ladies and gentlemen...

the manager at my previous work, a small bank was gay and we were like pillow fighting sisters and suddenly she /he realizing how i fluttered or how them boys flustered me more. became the bane of my existence and it still is..the result hazardous....right now i work in a place of 22 people and i am the only female...sometimes i forget that i am? most of the time i just love to see sparks fly and heats up the whole organization...as if i am a walking time bomb...

I love music ..but music is to me ranges from Bach/Beethovan..to Gwen Stefani..one hit singles that mostly nobody's ever heard...my philosophies ranges from liberalism to utmost totalitarian and nothing in between...my cooking comprises of shrimps and chiini rotis..i enjoy being a sinner as much as religiously going to temple at least each Sunday...I hold a bottle of beer and then enjoy babysitting my fren's newborn..i have a bf down in Alabama that i haven't seen for 3 years for the least. I enjoy hanging out and date with ferns from school/college?after all the purpose of taking classes is finding a date.. and then i have my best buddy as a roommate who proly thinks that i don't shower him any attention cuz 24/7 away from my place...and then i am supposed to marry a dude that mom likes. dad, i heard just shook the hell of the guy i dumped some seven years ago..cuz he just found out that he was my bf..I LET TWO OF MY FIANCE MARRY MY TWO BEST FRENS and then all four of them share their intimate life lovingly to them as if i was married along with them...

I don't know why people run after love...for me it has been a second life..rather twisted like a tornado...but then...its obscure...i still feel single as i'd always manage to be. I still have time to writ e soliliquiys , paint and worship my books and of course movies..my brother is way past trying to trace all my bfs...even he's surprised that i abstain from my good looking roomier...and hang out with dead frogs but then i see no point..none so far...i'm just a traveler and these are my travel buddies..i can't promise where i 'm gonna fly tomorrow..yet i miss that dude in Alabama...and i hang out with my school charlies..have a pretty roommate and then just promised mom that i will definately marry the next not this one but the next dude she asks me out..as for dad i'm just gonna have to tell him that them were/ are all my comrades...the world is definitely octagonal...better said it?s a octopus .....And I?m a jelly trying to make sense out of all this weird planktons around me

Hushpuppy -

I am curious - are your stories fact or fiction or both? Regardless, all I can say is you are a good story teller. The last posting reminded me of the movie Four Weddings and A Funeral ...lol

PS: Watch out for Salokya - he might decide to write a book about your experience dumping men :). I can't but wonder how he would title it - " Nepali stri ra unle kilchieka purush haru ... ." These days you have to be careful with whom you talk to on MSN. Sorry, couldn't resist ;)

Hush..i wish u get a right guy :)